August 25, 2011

Who Gets the Hairy Roomie?

Still waiting on those ultrasound results.  Last time it took about three weeks to hear back, so I know it's a little soon to be expecting news.  To be honest, I've had other things on my mind.

One of those things has been some upcoming travel.  It seems that all my trips this spring and summer will not be for holidays, but that's all right; I like to travel.  My next trip in particular is for work.  They're bringing a random selection of people in my industry in North America down to California for some educational touring.  No complaints there, right?

Thing is, most people in my industry are women.  And they are generally infamous for being catty, party-crazy, and prone to drinking a lot when they have a good time.  In addition, in order to keep costs down (as usually we don't pay for these trips ourselves) we can be expected to be put two women to a room.  Now, I've heard a lot of roommate horror stories over the years from colleagues who have been on trips like this.  Poor hygiene, thunderous snorers, and those who don't come home at all (so you have to keep your deadbolt off your door all night so they can get in when they want).  And I would probably be horrifying to some, actually, because I like to keep the TV on quite late when I'm in an insecure place.

But beyond the natural human differences in sleep habits I might have to compromise on, there's also the worry of morning ablutions.  Let's face it; most hotels have their sink on the outside of the washroom.  I know what I have to do, of course, but I don't like to do it: I can shave by feel in the shower if I have to, but it's never as good of a shave as when I can watch my movements in the mirror.  Just the agonizing question of "Which hotel will we be in, and where will the sink be?" is enough to give me a stomachache... never mind what stranger might witness me shaving my face.

However, I put my hands figuratively on my hips, and told myself quite resolutely that I was not going to give up a free trip because I was scared.  I've waited five years for a perk like this, and I've backed away from plenty of other opportunities because of my extra fur.  Not this time, Al, not this time.

So I RSVPed with my resounding "Heck yes I'm coming!" ...but I didn't stop worrying.

Then I got the itinerary, with this news:  Everyone is getting their own room.  

Practically unheard of!  I cannot believe my fortune.  But it shows that we shouldn't let fear of the unknown rule us.  Not only will you likely not experience the worst case scenario, but sometimes you'll get the best case scenario to boot!

Next bridge to cross is the bathing suit, as there's a beach on the itinerary...


Anonymous said...


I remember last time I went away with a colleague - seethrough door to the bathroom... Yeah, that was the day I told her ...

Great news! You need some time away and with the room issue solved, there's nothing to worry about! Just enjoy it and get the best out of it!!! :)

Carly said...

I hear you, sister. I have had many similar fearful experiences when I've had to share a room with another person. Thank you for the message to just try to go for the experiences, and not let the hair get in the way :-)

Allerleirah said...

Soph - I remember that story. There comes a time when you just have to lay it out on the table, obviously. "Look, I have to shave my face in the mornings, and you're going to have to deal with seeing it, because I'm going to have to deal with you seeing it." :)

Carly - The fear is right up there with winding up unconscious in a hospital bed, for me! How did you manage? Were you able to keep your temporary roommates in the dark?

Anonymous said...

I used to tell my ex: "if anything happens to me and you really HAVE TO call the ambulance, just cover me from top to toe and tell them only ONE person can see me" ;) Since then, I had to show my.. everything to so many doctors I really stopped being bothered (well, in emergency situation at least). Point of view depends on the point of the chair you sat on.

And that colleague - it took me hours and lots of wine to tell her what The Problem actually is (with her guesses finally causing me to blurt it out) and her reaction was - and...? It would have saved me so much time and energy if I just said: "'Look, I have to shave my face in the mornings, and you're going to have to deal with seeing it, because I'm going to have to deal with you seeing it.'"
I'll write this down in case I need to use it one day ;)


Allerleirah said...

Hahaha, that sounds just like what I would do. Skirt around the issue as long as I could until I just couldn't bear it anymore.

That's sort of what all the reactions have been like when I tell someone, too. "And...?" I don't know why we have to expect the worst! :)

Anonymous said...

I think I know why. I probably sound like and old record but the media pressured society makes us think we are worse. And because we are "lucky" enough (cough cough) to be able to hide it (there are so many conditions that cannot be hidden!), we dont really know what "normal" people who know us (not those flawless photoshop tv creatures) would think. But because we don't know, we put ouservselves in the state of mind that we would be hated if the truth (the hair) comes out and by hiding it more and more, we wound ourselves more and more that we should hide it and it becomes a vicous circle and we completely lose the real picture. Plus, if we do happen to have, say, a mother who calls us a mutant at 12 (me) or any other one-off but deeply dramatic situations (caused my mindless idiots), of course we are terrified to tell anyone else. And it is not our fault, there is nothing wrong with us - our minds are being tempered with so they get sick.
Now, that's the reason, what is the cure? Well, among other things, you are, Al. Writing your blog, discussing these issues, looking at the history of "beauty", talking about it and giving the dark issues names. Names that can be looked up and researched. Bringing examples, never giving up to support others. BEING an example. Simple.
Yes, I think, medically, your blog helped me more with all aspects of being hirsuite than any doctor I met.


Carly said...

I just saw that you replied - sorry about that! I *think* I was able to keep them in the dark... Although I also think that sometimes I wasn't as slick as I thought at the time. Maybe that would be a good topic for the post I send... :-)

Allerleirah said...

Soph - I may not have kept going with you. :)

" hiding it more and more, we wound ourselves more and more that we should hide it and it becomes a vicous circle and we completely lose the real picture."

So true. Obsessing in front of the mirror day in and day out makes us lose perspective. Totally. *nods*

Carly - Hahaha, I wonder that too--"Did I pull the wool over their eyes, or did they see something after all?" I used to wonder it on a daily basis, but I think as you get more comfortable with yourself, you care just a tiny bit less.