Holidays

All right, I'm off on holidays, so no update next week. I am so ready for this break; mentally, anyway. Bodily, I just haven't had time to "take care of" everything yet. You should see the size of the toiletries bag I have to pack when I travel. It's embarrassing. :)

See you folks when I get back!

"Al"

My Morning Routine

I noticed it's been a while since my last "Products I'm Currently Using" post: September 2008. My general routine has remained similar throughout the last two years, but I thought I should update again, and provide a more specific step-by-step walk through of how I do things. Not that I expect anyone to do it the same way I do, but when I first started shaving I often wondered, "Is this right? Is this normal? Do other hirsute women do it this way?" Without an answer, I just tried things until I fell into a rhythm which now makes me feel reasonably confident I'm doing the best I can for my skin.



Step 1 - Prep: I soak my face in a warm washcloth for a minute or so, to open up the pores and soften the hair. Sometimes I'll scrub a bit to lift the hairs from the skin. Then I wash my face with gentle soap-free Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser or a store-name imitation that works just as well.

Step 2 - Shave: I massage in some shaving gel or oil. You can browse the products tag on the blog to find shaving mediums and razors I have used--some worked better than others. Right now I'm trying out some gels and using Schick's Slim Triple razors. I find small strokes distribute the pressure on the razor more evenly and allow you to be more precise. Because I would rather have the closest possible shave and be a little irritated, I shave against the direction of the hair growth when shaving across it doesn't work. If I don't get it all the first time, I reapply the gel or oil and go again. Depending on the shaving medium I use, I usually rinse it off, and splash a little cold water on my face to close up the pores and calm my sometimes stinging skin, then pat dry.

Step 3 - Moisturize: I'll apply some jojoba oil to the shaved spots--sometimes before my regular moisturizer, sometimes after. It really depends on how my skin is feeling that day and how much time I have. Applying it before ensures it will be absorbed faster, and applying it after means it will sit for a while on the surface of my skin. Last time I did an entry like this, Lubriderm was my favorite lotion. Since that post, they've changed their look and formula and I've found it was no longer as helpful for my skin, so I've been trying to find something new to stick with. Right now I'm using a store-brand imitation of Aveeno's daily moisturizing lotion with natural colloidal oatmeal, which does a great job of moisturizing while staying light and non-greasy.

Step 4 - Make-up!: I recently posted my opinion on a new concealer I tried which applies easily and hides spots and shadows fairly well, and conditions the skin while you wear it. Most other concealers I used made dry flaky skin from shaving worse, not better. I used to have to rub it off and reapply so many times before I would dare go out of the house, but it happens very rarely now with CG Smoothers concealer. Once it goes on successfully, I finish by patting CG Fresh Complexion Pocket Powder all over. It's a very fine power foundation so I find it doesn't catch on dry skin as much either.

Step 5 - At night: I'll soak my face again with warm water and wash it with the gentle face soap. Once or twice a week I'll use Vichy Normaderm Purifying Cleansing Gel, which is a little astringent but I like having that boost to keep blemishes at bay. If my skin has been really dry, I won't use Persa-Gel that night--you can have too much of a good thing. I might moisturize instead at night if that's the case. And on top of it all I'll usually apply pure vitamin e oil to moisturize and speed the healing of shaved areas overnight. If my skin has been having an especially tough time and I have some open nicks or cuts, I'll use Polysporin instead to prevent infection and promote healing, as vitamin E oil can sometimes cause spots and is best used when "wounds" are no longer open.



That's what is working for me right now, and my skin is the best it's ever been--though that could also be partially attributed to age and the androgen blockers I'm taking. It's taken years to shape my routine and parts of it are still undergoing constant reevaluation. It's all about getting to know your skin through research and trying different products. Don't be afraid to experiment! You won't know until you try.

Hiding with Hair and the Sucky Social Subtext

Just for this last little while, I've had so many days of work in a row that my chin is crying out for a break. Today is my only chance. I was so looking forward to it, and I made sure no one had plans that would oblige me to leave the house, and warned my mother that I would not be shaving so she would dissuade any last minute plans to go out as a family coming from other members of the house. We're actually not really big on going out to do things as a family, but it always seems to be my luck that when the urge strikes, I'm trying to give my skin a holiday from the razor.

My mother can be a really great advocate sometimes. And other times... well, not so much.

I remember once, she went out to visit my aunt for the morning, and things snowballed into an invite to have everybody over for dinner that night. Well, I hadn't shaved that day, and if I shaved that evening I would not have a very successful shave in the morning for work when I really needed it. I told my mother to pass on my regrets, but anyone who knows my aunt would know this would not be the end of it. Apparently the excuse given was, "She needs some time to herself." My mother didn't bother to defend me while my aunt later accused me (in a joking way that meant she was offering serious criticism) of being antisocial. I was a shy child, and as an adult I've been trying to reverse this impression she seems to have that I didn't like her when I was young. That attempt took a backward step that day.

But back to yesterday morning, I declared my intent to stay home and be beardy. My mother had been considering taking the long drive out to visit her dad, and everybody always goes together as this is a rare treat--but she agreed this wasn't the best time to do it. However that evening, she said she had changed her mind and everybody was going to go down the next day. I urgently tried to remind her that I had not planned on going, and she replied with a mother's classic: "You don't have to come," which translates into plain English as: "If you don't come you will be exposed to ridicule." I pretended not to see the subtext and will take what comes.

I admit a lot of my frustration tends to come from knowing I'm letting my hirsutism cut me off from my family. But at the same time, we have so much opportunity to do things as a family; why does it have to be this particular day, when it's already established that I won't want to go? It makes me feel antisocial, like I'm a bad granddaughter for choosing to be hairy and cloister myself.

That's one thing I don't like about summer. I am getting better at handling the smaller clothes that come with the warm weather, but the family also gears up to spend more time together, and the merits of planning ahead seem to melt away with the snow. Not too long ago it was put before me to go camping in conjunction with our bigger vacation--but the question came from my mother. In front of everybody. There was the obvious impediment that I wouldn't be able to get the extra time off work, but my mind flew to what I felt should have been obvious to her: that camping is uncomfortable for me, as hair removal is a lot less convenient, and it saps the joy out of the experience. I think I cranked out a flabbergasted "No...?" after which she openly disparaged me while the rest of the family listened.

Yes... Yes I know it is my choice to let hirsutism rule certain parts of my life, even after a decade. I know that I put the way I look on a higher priority than it should be. But I also know I'm not alone in this. Even people without such obvious limitations won't go out without make-up or if they don't have clothes they feel they look good in. And I also know a family should be able to accept someone's limitations, even self-imposed ones. This is why it's so hard to trust them with the truth. My own mother can't seem to remember them.

I mean, if you're cooking a meal for your family, you remember the kinds of foods they don't like or are allergic to. Is the beard on my face more subterranean than that?

That should be a good thing, right?

Right, rant done, I feel better. Today is another beautiful day. Man is my chin itchy...

Product: KoS Woman Smooth and Sensitive Shave Gel

At the same time as I bought some of the King of Shave's oil, I also thought I would try their gel for women. I used to think a "gel" was the type of shaving medium you got in a can that came out like a gel but lathered into a foam. But after trying this non-foaming stuff, it's changed my perception of the average shaving mediums you find on the shelf for women.

King of Shaves Woman - Smooth and Sensitive Shave Gel - 175 mL

Ingredients:

• Rosa Damascena flower water, aqua, aloe barbadensis (aloe vera) leaf juice, glycerin, cocamidopropyl betaine, coco-glucoside, glycereth-26, PTFE, anthemis nobilis (chamomile) flower oil, vitis vinifera (grape) seed oil, lavandula angustifolia (lavender) extract, lilium candidum (white lily) flower extract, tocopheryl acetate, silk amino acids, castoryl maleate, ethylhexylglycerin, lecithin, polyacrylamide, acrylates/C10-30 alkyl acrylate crosspolymer, styrene acrylates copolymer, linalool, sodium chloride, citric acid, triethanolamine, polyaminopropyl biguanide, phenoxyethanol, imidazolidinyl urea, dehydroacetic acid, benzoic acid, sodium benzoate, potassium sorbate.

Things I liked:

• Like the oil, I thought the price was great - and now it's on sale so that's even better
• Also like the oil, it protects without drying and allows you to see where you're shaving
• You don't need much for each shave - it lasts as long as the oil, and I even used it on other body parts too. ;)

Things I didn't like:

• You know that sweet, enzymatic smell you get from using chemical depilatory creams? It smells just like that to me. But you do get used to it after a while.
• I think they're phasing it out!

Did it do what it promised?

Leaves "delicate skin silky smooth and gently moisturized." It really does. I used this one on more places than my face and it works with minimal irritation everywhere (the irritation is likely my fault, I shave against the hair growth, not with). It doesn't have the drying properties of foams, and though I thought I would really miss the more obvious moisture in the oil, this really is a nice product if oil is not what you prefer. If you've ever tried shaving with some of your leftover conditioner, this feels similar, but less likelihood of breakouts. And it's not prone to clog a razor, either.

I think they may be discontinuing this one, too, to make way for their new line of women's products. But the good news is, you can buy the Smooth and Sensitive and the Pamper and Moisturize Shave Gel half price on their website now! I might get both this time; I'm really sad my bottle's empty now.

See what other people thought of the KoS shaving gels for women:
Reviews on Drugstore.com
Lovemarks
MyStyle.com

The New Love of My Life

Once again I miss a week. This is becoming a very bad habit, I apologize.

But I hope this photo explains it!

I've wanted a dog for as long as I can remember, but have never lived in a place that allowed pets. Above and beyond the fact that a new puppy needs to be supervised all the time, I am so in love with this little guy that I can hardly bear to be away from him. I haven't read or written much at all since we got him.

What's interesting is that in the past week or so since he joined the family, there have been a few instances where I have allowed people from outside my trust zone to come near me while I haven't shaved.

As some of you may already know, in the interest of having a better shave when I must go out, I often skip a day and go stubbly if I have nowhere to be. When I do, I tend to stay away from certain members of the family, and absolutely never answer the door to visitors. I've had family visit on errands and have greeted them and introduced them to the puppy. I've even let them hug me. And when a neighbor wanted to bring her children over to see the puppy, I sat in the backyard with them in direct sunlight to supervise. These are all things I have never done before. With my mind on the puppy, it hasn't bothered me as much. I've still felt self conscious, but just... haven't cared. Because I have a tiny, dependent life to love.

I knew pets were good for your well being, but I didn't expect it to mellow me out quite like that.