July 14, 2011

Liberation

As any hirsute woman can attest to--heck, any woman with any insecurities about her body can attest to this--the way we shop for clothes is a little different.  How low will that neckline be?  How high that hem?  What does it cover?  How well does it cover?

And that constantly wars with our desire to look nice.  To wear beautiful things.  For instance, I love peasant tops, with the lace and the crochet and the smocking, but try finding one of those that covers up to the collarbone!  I'll be instantly drawn to one in the store, rub the fabric between my fingers, eventually realize that I would be spending money for something I would only wear on an exceptionally "good" day, and then regretfully move on.  Even jewelry can sometimes seem pointless.  Why buy a pair of beautiful earrings when you're just going to pull your hair self-consciously around your face?

Sometimes I get so sick of my wardrobe full of cotton crewnecks and boatnecks.  I feel like I've been wearing the same clothes since high school.  At my age I'd like to look a little more adult and a little more feminine.  (Fun fact about your friend Al, she looks like she's twelve.)

Being on Spiro hasn't really changed this, exactly.  I don't expect to be taking this medication forever, and there are still some parts of me the Spiro does not effect very much.  But simply having it work on my chest is surprisingly freeing.  I can pluck the hair there and forget about it for a week, which means I don't have to plan so far ahead about which shirt I'll be able to wear to work or which dress I can wear for a night out.  I don't have to worry about acne as much, either.

So the last time I went shopping, pretty tops suddenly seemed like a worthwhile investment.  I might be wearing them more than once or twice a year.  And I could pick based on color alone if I wanted to!  Or pattern!  Or embellishment!  I could make choices based purely on how I felt, not on whether or not I'd get my money's worth.  I hadn't really realized how much I missed that.  I haven't really shopped that way since I started earning my own money to spend on my own wardrobe!  It was a beautiful feeling.

Of course, I'd trade that all in an instant if the pills would work on my face instead.  I'd wear jeans and t-shirts my whole life through if it meant I could get up in the morning and not have to shave my face.  But for now, I'll enjoy what I can get!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am jealous!!! :) In a good way, of course. I am happy for you about Spiro working at least in some places.

Wow, YES! What a familiar subject.. My meds did not work and as I mentioned before, I cant even wear polos - only turtlenecks for me. And those beautiful concert t-shirts I collect whole year for summers ;) I also have issue of weraing only black so... well, lets just say I save a lot of money on clothes... Even if I do buy them (online - sort by size, sort by colour, sort by turtle neck - oh, only two in this giant warehouse!), all of them look the same anyway :)
Then again, when I listen to my colleagues neverending dilemmas about whats fashionable, or pretty or expensive or whatever - I smile quietly because this is one problem I do not have!

soph.

Allerleirah said...

Yes, that is true, less options leads to less stress! Kind of like having a uniform, which is something I certainly appreciate (as long as it's not a v-neck that would be such a pain to wear every day!)

There is so little selection sometimes, isn't there? There is so much designers could do with a turtleneck, or a crewneck!

Anonymous said...

I know!!! I am not entirely sure this advice will work for you ;) but I found that gothic shops (as in: music, lifestyle) seem to have some nice, unboring stuff that covers Everything. Cant really wear it to work though ;))

YESSSS!! Long live turtlenecks uniforms!!! :))

s.