I've refilled my Spiro prescription (man, I keep wanting to call it a "subscription") for the fifth time. I'm less than two months away from my follow-up with the endocrinologist. I know the slightly elevated levels of testosterone in my blood are not coming from my adrenals, so it must be coming from my ovaries. Does that mean PCOS? Or are my hair follicles just hypersensitive to the hormone? Either way, what's to be done about it? Because I don't know if the Spiro is working, or working well enough to continue with.
It's diuretic properties can still be pretty inconvenient. Whether I take the pill with breakfast or lunch, if I've drank anything too close to bedtime, I'm stumbling blearily into the bathroom at three in the morning because my teeth are floating--and then have to get back up two hours later to get to work. I'm not a fan of that bloated, close-to bursting feeling when I wake up.
My cycle can be unpredictable about half the time. The only way I can tell it's coming around is that my right breast starts to hurt. I'm making doubly sure to do my monthly breast exam; thanks to the Internet I'll never be able to forget seeing a link between Spiro (in huge amounts) and breast cancer, though I wouldn't expect anything to happen that quickly with such a small dosage. But at least my period is about half as long as it used to be.
And who can forget how it prevents me from eating a lot of potatoes--one of my favorite things.
And, as far as the hair goes, I don't think I see much change. I get the sense that it's growing a little slower, because shaving every 24 hours feels like I'm getting more skin than hair. If I pluck the hair, it seems to take longer to come back. However if the hair breaks as I'm plucking it, it doesn't clear the follicle nearly as fast, either. It just sits under the skin, cheekily visible yet untouchable.
So I'm trying to prepare myself for giving up the pills. It will become another one of those things that I can say with certainty was not for me and my beard. And that shouldn't be a defeat, it should be an accomplishment.
I wonder, if I get to the end of possibilities to try, I'll finally be able to totally accept this part of myself... because I'll have to.
Yeah, a part of my mind is still hoping for a miracle. What can I say? It's my fantasy to be able to wake up, and just... go somewhere without having to shave my face. How many women fantasize about Johnny Depp even though they know it'll never happen? ;P