July 20, 2011

What's Happening to My Beard?

I've come down with a flu (again!) so I haven't been at work.  In fact, I haven't been out at all, except into the yard to soak up a little sunshine and supervise the dog as he explores.  So that means that I haven't been shaving my face.

Well, I say I haven't been shaving, but what I mean is that usually around dinnertime when the family gets together, I'll quickly scrape in the direction of the hair growth with my razor.  This basically only "trims" my stubble, but it causes less stress on the skin.  You can still see the dark shadow, and if you came close enough you'd be able to see those pesky individual prickles.  However, it makes it a little less obvious than having one or two day's growth of beard.  I still haven't talked about my hirsutism with my step-family, and am still not really comfortable having that conversation.  Even if they have already figured it out, I'd still prefer to keep it out of sight and therefore out of their minds, lest it appears in their own conversations with others one day.  (I know I ought to get over this.  Getting people to talk about it would be a good thing.  Even if it's ignorant and judgmental speech, at least it would make people more aware that it's not something unique to a few Victorian-era unfortunates and Hollywood.)

Anyway, before my not-shave yesterday I was stretching my skin and looking for any ingrown hairs, which I'll usually nip in the bud by plucking and then dotting on a bit of Polysporin.  And I turned my face to examine my left cheek and jaw, I thought I noticed something, and leaned in close to the mirror, nearly squashing my nose against the glass.  No, I wasn't going crazy, there really was less dark stubble there.  In fact, there was a spot about an inch to an inch-and-a-half across that had very few dark hairs at all.

When did that happen?  I ran my finger up my cheek, against the direction of the hair growth.  It still felt like the same amount of hair there, but very little of it was dark in that spot.  Had the coarse hairs just lost some of their pigment?  Was this a sign of things to come?  Now don't get excited, I thought, and turned to my right cheek and found everything was still the same as ever.  Am I going nuts?  Was the left side of my face always like that and I've forgotten?  Or are androgens affecting my face less and less?  I have read that the face is usually the last to be affected.

Maybe things are about to get better.  We can only wait and see.

And hey, I've seen a few people have already seen and voted on the 4th Anniversary poll.  Thank you!  I'm really going to be taking to heart your opinions.


Anonymous said...

:))) Thats some good news, isnt it? :)


Yeah, i know i should tell you: just dont get your hopes up too high but i think i might be just about as excited as you are, for you, so screw the being TOO realistic/optimistic part! I'm happy for you and i'll keep my fingers crossed for better things to come!

Make sure not to forget about us when you're all hairless and wearing bikinis all the time! :))

And one can only cast one vote in your poll. But what if one would like to choose two options? :)


(the word verification for this comment is hategenes... hm...)

Jade said...

I hope so much for you that it's the start of more to come... well less to come that is! Can you imagine, less and less hair, until one day you're completely smooth and clear of any unwanted growth. I can't imagine actually. haha... omg, I truly don't know how I would be, it's been 10 years. I wish I could see how my life would have turned out if at 15 my fuzzy soft normal hair just chilled instead of flipping out.
It would be really nice to find out what I'm capable of one day tho...
Fingers X'd for ya & I will check back to see if there's another post like that. Good luck & stay positive about it.

Allerleirah said...

Soph - You know me, my feet won't float too far off the ground!

*lol* Oh goodness, if I ever became hairless, would I be satisfied enough with myself to wear bikinis? I know I certainly couldn't forget the years of struggle. At least, I hope not. It really makes you appreciate what you have!

Besides, if I stop the medications that are working (which I expect to do someday) it will all come back. It's all temporary. Just have to enjoy the little triumphs.

And hee hee, yes, I limited votes on the poll on purpose. I want everyone to choose just one! ;)

Jade - Thank you so much! :D It's exciting, but still difficult to imagine ever being free of having to deal with hair every morning.

I wonder... if our hair follicles had behaved growing up, would we be the same people we are now?

I don't think I would. I have to say I am grateful to hirsutism for teaching me humility, and to look for inner beauty in others, at least.

Anonymous said...

Thats the thing, ladies, you see. I am pretty certain I would not be who I am if not for The Problem. I made a thread about this on Cysters, actually - "Grateful for the hair" (there are no comments so far, hmmm...). I might hate the package I am in but at least I do not hate the choices I make, the way I look at the world and other beings around me.

And yes, Al, I doubt that sudden hairlessnes would make us instantly confident and running out naked in public but I sure would like to have an option to see what would it be like. Would I change it if I had a magic wound? No. But only because I would be scared of what worse deal I'd get in exchange, and trust me, there are plenty of "worse"...


Allerleirah said...

Agreed, Soph. And I love what you said there: "I might hate the package I am in but at least I do not hate the choices I make, the way I look at the world and other beings around me."

We can't always control the way we look, but we can control how we deal with it.