Product: Styptic Pencil

I was browsing the hair removal section of a drugstore last month to see what new devices of torture were available, when I discovered something that has apparently been around for years.  The styptic pencil has apparently been a part of men’s grooming sets since the days of the straight razor, and it’s designed to stop nicks from bleeding. 

If you have a pet that needs its nails clipped, you might be familiar with the concept, as a powder form is often used to stop any bleeding if the animal’s nails get clipped too close to the quick.  This pencil usually comes in a clear plastic tube for storage, and feels a bit like chalk in your hand.  You wet the tip and apply it to your nicks, and the astringent in the pencil causes the bloodvessels to constrict.  (See how it works.)




Styptic Pencil (drugstore brand)


Ingredients:

• Medical Ingredient: Aluminum Sulfate Anhydrous 56%

• Non-Medical Ingredients:  Titanium Dioxide and Water

Things I liked:

• It stops the bleeding from minor nicks instantly.  No more bits of toilet paper and waiting for nicks to clot on their own so I can apply make-up and get on with my day. 

• I’ve even used it on moderate nicks from shaving my legs, and while it doesn’t stop them right away, it does slow the bleeding so I’m not tracking blood all over the place like a horror film.

Things I didn't like:

• It stings.  A lot.  Think paper cut in lemon juice.  (Guess that's why they call it an astringent...)

• It leaves a white residue on your skin, which you need to rinse off before make-up will apply with ease.

Did it do what it promised?

“Stops bleeding resulting from minor shaving cuts”--absolutely.  I might not have believed it if I hadn’t tried it for myself.  Even slightly larger nicks are helped with the pencil, which makes shaving just a little less messy and frustrating.  Because getting nicks to clot is often one of my biggest peeves with shaving, I think it’s an invaluable part of a shaving arsenal.

There are so many companies that make them, I’m not going to bother linking others’ reviews.  You can search on your own, or just try it for yourself.  They’re not expensive, and well worth a look if you’re an aggressive and sometimes clumsy shaver like me.

Being "Allerleirah"

There’s some drawbacks to having an online identity that is just for talking about hirsutism online.  Things I didn’t even imagine when I started up this blog. 

I intended to create a way for me to talk with absolute honesty about what it’s like to personally live with an androgenic disorder, without worrying about how that honesty (which might at times be ugly as I'd never, ever properly expressed myself regarding hirsutism before) would reflect on other areas of my online life.  The blog's been great for that.  It’s also been great for giving me courage to connect with other ladies in similar circumstances and find useful resources for support.

But in a way, it’s kept hirsutism compartmentlaized; separate from the rest of my life.  It's had the benefit of allowing me to flush out the frustration in a place where people who see it will understand utterly and completely.  It has also cultivated an awareness in me that hirsutism is really a small part of my life.  Small enough that I sometimes run out of things to say about it.  And in some respects, it’s nice to have it over here so I can only think or talk about it when I want to.  But it also means that when I come over here, it’s all I think or talk about.  And that’s overwhelming sometimes.  So overwhelming that when I feel fragile or very stressed, I avoid this place completely.  I apologize for that.

Having hirsutism as the primary aspect of this online identity also means that those who are drawn to Allerleirah in respects to friending me or following me or subscribing to me are drawn to me because of the hair.  That’s kind of a weird experience, when you think about it.  A person you met face-to-face on the street would likely not be drawn to you if you were sporting a few days of stubble on your chin.  That’s kind of the crux of the anxiety we feel as hirsute women.  In a way, that’s lifted off you when you’re open about it online.  Being Allerleirah has been great for meeting women with whom I have these struggles in common, and in fact being inspired and taught by them.  And it’s been great for being introduced to people who are genuinely curious and trying to understand this bizarre situation of being a woman with a beard.  But on the other hand, as a woman talking openly about body hair, being interested in it and being able to grow a good deal more of it than most women, I’ve at times become an object of fetishism. 

Perhaps sometimes being the subject of an erotic fixation is what I’ve been finding particularly discouraging.  And maybe I shouldn’t--after all, would I be miffed if someone was attracted to me because they first noticed above all else that I had blond hair?  How silly is it to say, “Hey, don’t notice me because of something I’ve done on purpose!”  (Not to say I’m hirsute on purpose, but I’ve made it public deliberately, just as I dye my hair deliberately.)

I think it troubles me because I feel like I’m merely part of a collection of things that someone finds pleasing.  I guess that’s nice on some level, because girls like us easily doubt our desirableness.  However, being hirsute is just a physical trait.  It’s not who I am.  The effects of hirsutism are, such as lack of self-confidence or being less judgmental about what others look like.  But I doubt that’s why I’m in the collection.

And if that's a bad thing, it’s my fault for presenting myself as “Allerleirah the bearded lady” and having this whole corner of the internet just for that.  But like everybody else in this world, I want to be appreciated as an individual.  And I know most of you here are here because the blog gives you encouragement and solidarity.  It gives it back to me, too, for which I will ever be grateful.  I shouldn’t let a little trichophilia get under my skin.  It’s nice that they have a taste for the unique, and I shouldn’t take that personally either positively or negatively.  I need to remember the feeling of being your hirsute sister, one of many, and at the end of the day, I know who I am and why I ought to be appreciated.  :)